i got stuck in a tire swing.
k bye.

I was just stabbed my something in the loveseat that I spend the majority of my time in at home.
I was stabbed by a fork.
I do not know how long said fork has been wedged in the chair.

Taco Bell Ritual.

Just, so you know I wake up with a chicken quesadilla mostly eaten laying in my bed or on my floor. At least once every or every other week. I black out and wake up with it just sitting there.



Also I always finish eating it the next day.

stop forgetting everything

RECENTLY, as a part of any healthy hangover, I woke up and immediately checked around to see if I had done anything incredibly stupid before passing out with my sandals still on the night before.

I found what LOOKED like a 2lb bag of sam's club brand asian chex mix in the trash, and I thought to myself "Oh thank god! Fat foul averted. I threw it away so I wouldn't eat it."

Asian chex mix is my name for that mixture of wasabi peas, rice sticks, soy squares etc you can buy. it looks disgusting/like packing material, is too salty, and was free, but that's not the point.

Apparently there were nuts in this 2 lb bag of asian kibbles. Apparently I sat and ate every single peanut, almond and cashew out of the entire bag, because there isn't a single one in the trash. I vaguely remember thinking this was okay. There is salt everywhere.

CURLS O' CHEESE

If this isn't a fat foul in & of itself, I don't know what is.

Jen & I hosted a cookout at our apartment last night and everyone brought food to share. Tijana, Jen's best friend, brought a gargantuan tub of cheese curls - which I don't think I've consumed since 1995, and for good reason. I looked at the nutrition facts and the serving size referred to the amount of "curls" .. über fatty. As Tijana prepared to make her exit, I yelled, "WAIT! DON'T FORGET YOUR CHEESE CURLS!" She refused to take them because, "my mom made me take these because she doesn't like (her grandchildren) eating them - they're too messy. She told me not to bring them back."

GREAT.

Just a little bit of cheese

So this is short and sweet and happened earlier today. I had bought package of those individual cheese slices of mozzarella. So I ate one piece earlier and I was thinking about how hungry I was. So, I got another. Then another. So, pretty soon after that I brought them all in my room and while laying on my bed I ate the entire fucking package! I was doing shit on my laptop not looking at my cheese and it is empty. I ate it in about twenty minutes... a big thing of cheese. WTF.

The time there was cake

One time I made a red velvet cake at the apartment and decided after slaving away at it, I might as well have a piece (I MEAN RIGHT?)...So I cut a small piece and sit at the dining room table and get distracted by something on the tv (or maybe I was talking to jaime) but anyways, I look over and there's cake icing ALL OVER my wrist. It was odd, considering that I hadn't noticed that I put my wrist in any cake or cake icing. I thought it was weird and wiped it off (or maybe I licked it off? I don't know, do you want to fight about it?)

I then sat back down and proceeded to get distracted by the tv or jaime again. A few minutes later I looked down (for some reason I had a feeling that I needed to look down..) only to see....................................................................................................................................................

there was totally cake icing ALL OVER MY LEFT THIGH. Really?

I mean, really?

Why? I don't remember dipping my thigh in cake.

It's still a mystery to this day.