i almost forgive you

So a lot of people probably know this, but my car was broken into recently. Some ass threw a giant rock through my window and stole my money, credit cards, coach wristlet, change, etc. Like many stupid thieves, they left the television, laptop, fancy bike parts and other things in my car actually of any value as stolen goods (my credit cards were canceled immediately, it was only 50 bucks, who cares about my coach wristlet, really).

Oh yeah, the fat foul? They stole my cookies. They left the packaging, the saran-wrapped plate I had them on, but I never saw another crumb of those delicious delights. I can only picture the thief or thieves, stuffing eighteen frosted white cookies into their shirt pockets, or simply eating them while rifling (poorly) through my stuff.