5 a.m. Mcdonald's and regret.

So after a particular long and crazy night of drinking my friend and I decide to hit up the drunken breakfast mecca of McDonald's. So,we pull up and the worker asks what we want. I decide to order some hash browns and four pancakes... When I say four I mean four. Well, he thinks that I mean four separate cases with four pancakes in them. So, we get this giant bag and I am laughing so hard. It's seriously like a paper bag from a grocery store. Then he asks what condiments I want. After serious consideration I say...EVERYTHING. I want every condiment they have. So in a normal McDonald's bag I have this giant assortment of all this shit. Also in my drunken state I ask the worker if cum is a condiment to his reply 'it can be'.
So, we get back to my friends and began devouring everything. Her mom wakes up and takes one look at all our McDonald's and asks us what the fuck we are doing. So, I pass out at some point and wake up with all the trays around me and my yesterdays work outfit covered in maple syrup and other random things. I have to go to work because I'm late in the same clothes I wore covered in maple syrup, butter, and ketchup in wrinkly clothes.
All day I was bitter about my most likely clogged arteries and sticky clothes...Oh the condiments lasted forever.